C.H.U.D. The Movie!

There are films that demand importance in my life and C.H.U.D. is one of those films. This flick is terrible in a good way. It's like a train wreck planned and executed by the Marquis de Sade and filmed by chimps on Jolt cola with cameras coated in Vaseline. This movie has it all. Exploding heads, stretchy neck monsters, radioactive waste and Daniel Stern! What more could you want? John Goodman? Got you covered partner. But, I digress. Let's get back to the epic masterpiece that is C.H.U.D.


"Ugly. Slobbering. Ferocious. Carnivorous" was one of the better tag lines from Director Douglas Cheek's first, and last, feature film. Basically, C.H.U.D. is a cautionary tale of waste and greed. A large corporation is storing leaky toxic waste barrels in the sewers and it's having a strange effect on the homeless denizens living under our city streets. Just like in the great B-Movies of the '50s (EG: "Them"), the radioactive sludge turns our natty vagrants into rubbery skinned, fang-toothed human flesh eating freaks. What a twist! These glowing, white eyed monsters seem to be at the center of a series of grisly murders plaguing New York City. As luck would have it, a soup kitchen worker, a cop, a photojournalist and his semi-hot '80s girlfriend band together to unravel this mystery. Sort of like "The Incredible Journey" except without a dog or a cat and with more mutants.

C.H.U.D. breaks no molds when it comes to story, special effects, acting or cinematography. But, C.H.U.D. does deliver in spades that gleeful camp that is missing in most modern horror flicks. The effects are physical, the story isn't based on a Japanese film and our actors are REALLY trying to sell us on this impossibly holey story. It works folks...it really does. Before I tell someone to watch "The Grudge" or "Cabin Fever", I'd tell them to add C.H.U.D. to their NetFlix list or pick it up on DVD . Check it out--you won't regret it. The sequel, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D., is another story all together. It sucks...


Trivia: C.H.U.D. is short for: Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller and Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal. The later is the group resonsible for dumping the waste in the sewers. Now you know and knowing is half the battle. GI Joe!!!